A couple of times, I have wondered...I have even been asked
Why do I even bother with this?
It is just a rambling compilation of thoughts.
One of the biggest things my oncologist said to me:
"You are 30 years younger than the average patient. It is most likely that it will be 'when' your cancer comes back vs 'if'' your cancer comes back."
That is a tough thing to think about.
My idea was that nobody ever lets you know what runs through their mind. I have tried to use this blog to articulate those things. I can talk about actions I have taken that give me flexibility, security, and the ability to live my life. I can talk about how Cancer has taken ideas, plans, and intentions away, and then how to start things over - as realistically, life is no longer going to be the same.
I can talk about the things I haven't done, but should be doing, as though I am about to start them. I can highlight procrastination, and use this as the ledger that show the timeline of what I have done, and what I haven't done.
Blogging has helped me with a couple things.I have had to learn to direct my mind to tasks again - almost rewiring things in my brain a little bit, and I feel it hasn't come back to the status quo I used to have. I am way more distractible (if that is a word) now than I ever have been.
I have many things I want to say - I just need to be a little more coherent about how to say them. This is helping (yes, really). I use this to teach myself how to better put my thoughts together better.
This is interesting for me as I was mostly a strategic thinker since the early 2000's. I became more about what could be done vs doing what needed to be done. That means I have a large notebook of ideas, thoughts, and concepts - and less than half of them have made it into draft form on the computer. I can come up with the ideas and plans, but my execution isn't as good as it used to be.
The reality is, unless I put things down on paper/screen, most of my thoughts and ideas are jumbled together - this helps me organize them, and truly assess how many are not feasible, and just a bad wingnut idea.
Other channels on the go.I have started a new blog that will be the lifestyle, and life lessons related to rebuilding my life. I posted awhile ago about closing a book or just a new chapter. That post is actually more thought provoking now (a year later) than it was then. I have to wrap my mind around a few concepts of my future, and its direction.
So, this new blog can be found HERE - https://livingrobslife.blogspot.com/
I am looking at how to better distribute these blogs direct to email inboxes.....which is probably best overall. Make it more of a email list than a blog - tried it once before, mixed results, should probably give it a go again.
I started by copying some of the older non cancer content that was here, over to the new blog. I have a bundle of new posts there as well..
I intend to eventually build a website instead of the free blogger platform, but that will be after some more education for me to figure out where I am going - details will be on the other blog eventually.
Where am I going with this?The future of this blog is bleak.
It has been over 4 years since treatments wrapped up, and very shortly will be 8 years since I heard the words "You have Cancer". I have discovered over those years that very few people want to hear about my Cancer journey anymore, either that or I have been telling people about it all wrong. Even when it my cancer journey started, I discovered that a number of people didn't want to hear it. I still feel that, and posts on my personal FB show people aren't interested.
I will be archiving the Cancer Sucks Chronicles FB page. Unless someone wants to take it over.
Most of my content for FB (Cancer or not) - will go out on Dead Nought https://www.facebook.com/Noughtdead/- my test bed for any bad ideas.
I have ideas that have been generated in my educational endeavors about my "internet empire" (as my friend Richard would call it and talk about - something #olddogandnewtricks). There are many ides, but I need to ensure that all the ideas work - for example: do I really see myself on Tiktok? what content would I do? because I can't dance...
I will need to finish the audit that I am doing on my "internet presence" to figure out what effort is the best option for me to build my own "internet empire" (Thanks Richard - I am totally stealing that term), and what channels/options are best for me to invest my time into.
Most worldly updates will start coming on the YouTube channel, as I discuss building an internet empire. YOUTUBE Please go there and subscribe.
Thanks for sticking around this long, hopefully there will never be a need for me to make any more Cancer related posts. I appreciate the support over the 7 years that this blog was active for around 125 posts.